Baby Mama’s Day!

Yeah, that’s me and MY DAY!

To tell you the truth, the actual day was a bit of a bust. Lucas was sick upon waking. That meant a parent was going to have to stay home with him and I WAS NOT about to stay home with a sick kid on Mother’s Day. However, that said, I was NOT about to go to church alone, without my boys. So, we played heathen and skipped. And then we went one worse, and drove down to Descanso Gardens in La Canada for a lovely tour of some amazing gardens.

There was a lot of walking. We thought it would be a great idea to let Lucas run and wear himself out. However, whenever he heard the trickle of water, he was running off the paths to find rocks and throw them in. Hauling him away from the water caused a huge scene—much bigger than usual because he was sick. His bad behavior, largely, was our fault. We overdid it, and we were being cursed for breaking the Sabbath—I’m pretty sure of it.

However, we did have some lovely moments….

 

 

 

Of course, he found a fountain and was transfixed.

In the rose garden at 24 weeks. Six months down!!! At this point, it’s just a relief to hit the point of “viability” for the baby, even if it means I’m more uncomfortable in so many ways.

And, again, off-path to see another waterfall. Lucas was so happy here! He started pulling himself up the rocks to get closer to the rocks. I love that he’s so adventurous and that he looks over his shoulder to make sure he’s being spotted by one of us. It’s nice to know he knows we support his courage.

And then there was lunch time. He just cried, wailing, the entire time. Yeah, we were THAT family. I burnt my tongue eating hot pizza so we could just get the hell out of there. Jason tried distracting him, but it was a no-go. Lucas was miserable, tired and probably a lot sicker than he looked—because he seriously looked fine. Oh, and we were being punished for ditching church.

At least he liked adding parmesan cheese to the leftovers. That kept him busy and happy…for about six seconds.

After a long family nap, we put on a movie for Lucas. He leaned back on me and the baby, probably for a good, long massage by the baby, who was kicking him like crazy. I’ll bet that felt good. When’s my turn? I mean, there really should be a day set aside, maybe once a year, when mommy’s get spoiled like this. I’m gonna look into it.

Another One? And How Long Will This Take?

Okay, let me make this perfectly clear to anyone and everyone who ever wants to talk to me about pregnancy: I did not decide to have a baby so I could “enjoy pregnancy.” Got it? Is that clear? I decided to have a baby so I could…you know…have my baby. Therefore, pregnancy and all of the sickness and headaches and emotional downs and physical discomforts are a mind-blowing test of my patience. So if I ever say to you, “I’m ready to have my baby with me now,” please don’t go on and on about the nursing and the crying and the sleepless nights. You’re talking to an chronic insomniac, so I can tell you that it’s amazing how much you can do on very little sleep and how happy I will be to have my little one safe and with us.

However, this pregnancy was a bit of a surprise. Not totally—we know where babies come from—I mean, we’ve both been to public schools and we know our families weren’t shy talking about it! (Yes, a regular topic at the Jeffries family dinner table—and every other table since!)

We had been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months and I was starting to get worried. With my insomnia and anxiety, I figured that my body wasn’t going to allow it. At the height of the most stressful time of the year, I finally had a meltdown with Jason and told him, on Christmas Eve, that I wasn’t ready to go through everything I had to go through to have another baby. I was imagining it would be exactly like it was with Lucas—painful, traumatic, with a long, scary recovery. So I told him we were going to put off trying for a while—the pressure was getting to me.

Christmas came and went, along with Jason’s birthday. I realized then that I should probably take a test, but figured the stress of the holidays had taken a physical toll on me. I put the stick on the scale and walked out of the bathroom for a few minutes, knowing I would return to a negative result. When I reentered the bathroom, from 6 feet up, I looked down to see the result was positive and I started laughing.

Jason was outside grilling some meat and I handed him the test and said, “Yes, we should definitely wait until we’re ready.” He started laughing, too, and he hugged me hard and said, “This is great. Let’s just get this done!” At least we were on the same page of hating pregnancy and the newborn phase. We were a team with Lucas on so many levels—both of us getting happier and more relaxed the older he got, and both of us absolutely in love with the toddler stage.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved Lucas since…well, since probably day 2 or 3. I was in such a fog with all of the medications and antibiotics and excruciating pain that I was just a robot, doing whatever the nurses told me to do. Once they took me off the magnesium and I was getting better at walking around despite the pain, I started to bond with him. But I think he and I really clicked after a couple of months. Once I got the hang of nursing and he and I got on a schedule where I actually got a few hours of sleep and I knew more of what to expect day to day, and both he and I woke up a little, we were good buddies.

This time around, with so much under my belt, I have to say that me and my little bun are already pretty good friends. I was kind of worried since I was immediately “high risk” with all of the complications of my last pregnancy, and with all of the scary waivers I will have to sign when I get to the hospital, but I somehow accepted it all pretty quickly.

The sickness was horrendous. It really was. It wasn’t as violent as it was with Lucas, but it was pretty bad. I had this terrible, achy exhaustion and some pretty bad nausea, and all kinds of Braxton Hicks, too. I had headaches, dizziness and, of course, ligament pain. And the worst part was that I started showing almost right away. I had a little pot belly. With Lucas, I was able to hide it until I was 18 weeks, but I had a belly at 6 weeks and it was pretty obvious by 12 weeks that I had either “let myself go” or had let Jason get me pregnant again.

At about week 11, though, I was incredibly uplifted by this ultrasound.

I think the activity of this baby has been an answer many wordless prayers. I felt it at 14 weeks just once and then it really started beating the crap out of me at about 16-17 weeks and has been nonstop since. It has been a huge reassurance for me to have such a bouncing little baby. And it’s strong! I’m already scolding it to “stop hurting Mommy!” I’ve been asking friends, “Hey, did your girls kick you so hard they hurt you?” And none of them have said yes, but I remember being bruised inside from Lucas so this makes me wonder if I’m having another boy.

Once I started feeling physically better and it was easier to eat, a strange depression moved in. It was a combination of utter exhaustion and hormones, but I was just down. Everything took effort—even things I love, like my walks with Lucas and even visiting friends. I just wanted to be left alone and was always on the verge of tears. Suddenly, though, the week before Easter, I snapped out of it. I suddenly had more energy and could get so much done. I have bad days here, but the good outnumber the bad by far and I hope that phase is behind me.

Although my tummy popped early, it isn’t inordinately large. Of course, it depends on what I’m wearing. And, for some reason, everything I own is ill fitting. My clothing from my last pregnancy is too big, even though I weigh the same at this stage as I did with Lucas at this point. So something’s up and it bugs. So I’m wearing a lot of hand-me-downs, which are too big and make me look way bigger overall, not just in the tummy. I just have to accept that this is temporary, and, with a long hot summer coming up, I’m just gonna have to bring on the ugly for a few months so I can be cool and comfortable.

This is me at about 17 weeks with my aunt and uncle, my dad, Lucas and Jason.

And this is me at 19 weeks. This is now how I have to carry Lucas. At 35 pounds, he’s impossible to carry when I not longer have a hip to perch him on.

Lucas doesn’t understand the concept of the baby. I taught him to say “hi” to the baby by putting his hands on my tummy and saying, “Hi, Baby!” It quickly became him putting his hands on his own belly and saying, “Yeah, Baby!” So yeah, the bomb will drop in his life the day the baby comes home. That should be fun. I’ll just have to keep the baby out of reach of little Mongo and watch him carefully. But when I hold my friends’ newborns, he’s been fascinated and very, very gentle. So maybe he’ll surprise us and be a wonderful big brother right away.

We’re getting very excited, not only for the pregnancy to be over, but to have our other little one embarking on its life with us. We know we will have to learn to juggle, but it likely won’t be anything like the trauma of being sent home on our own with our first. So let’s get on with it already! How long does this really have to take???

Deputy of the Year

While I was minding my own business, taking care of Lucas, I got a text from Jason telling me that the Elk’s Lodge was going to honor him as Deputy of the Year in a few days, and he was a bit stunned. Yet, I wasn’t. But, yes, I did cry like a total boob.

When he had time to fill me in, he told me that every year the Elk’s Lodge honors someone from all of the major community service associations and his peers chose him as this year’s Deputy of the Year. Jason insisted that this was no big deal. He said they probably said, “Oh, it’s that time again. Let’s send Jones.” But I reminded him, “Even if that was how it happened, babe, how many deputies at this station? And you were the first to come to mind, and that doesn’t mean anything?”

But Jason’s not one to take praise easily. And he said he would go to the dinner alone so we wouldn’t have to worry about a sitter.

“What?! No way! We got an award! I’m going with you so we can accept it!”

“We?!?” he asked with a laugh.

“Hey, you didn’t have to worry about a thing while you were at work! I took care of everything so you could work twelve to eighteen hour days, and I didn’t demand that you come home on time, and I didn’t threaten to leave you, did I? It’s OUR award, dammit! And I’m going to accept it with you!”

Probably just to appease me, he said, “You’re right. We should go together.”

So my parents stepped up to watch Lucas and we went on our way to the Elk’s Lodge in Canyon Country. When we got there, he asked if he should wear his tie. Since I love a man in uniform, I said it was a good idea and he made some final adjustments in the parking lot.

When we got inside, I was surprised by the humble setting. Then I remembered that the Elk’s Lodge is charity organization and them spending all kinds of money on a fancy-schmancy dinner would have wasted a lot of their resources. After all, they offer the third largest scholarship fund behind the US Government and Bill Gates, and that doesn’t come with wasting money.

Dead animals everywhere.

Before Jason got up, there were a few organization that went first. A firemen got Fireman of the Year, or something, and the local hospital awarded their breastfeeding team, which was awkward because the lady went on and on about breasts. I would have fallen out of my chair if she brought out a booby puppet, which my lactation nurse had in her pocket. Jason and I were hoping, though.

The presentations were pretty casual and not terribly personal. And so I didn’t think there would be any kind of meaningful speech in Jason’s honor and snapped these pictures.

 

 

Then, as his lieutenant’s remarks went on, I realized that he was really praising Jason personally and I got the wherewithal to actually record the rest of the brief speech.

In all honesty, after having a spaghetti dinner with Jason’s Lieutenant and Sergeant, I wasn’t expecting such a heartfelt tribute. All through dinner, we were joking and laughing and poking fun at each other. And I loved it. I have a blast when I hang out with Jason’s work associates, because these people really are put through wringers day in and day out, and they’re the true salt of the earth. That they can still be funny through it all shows that if you can laugh at it, you can live with it.

And, I don’t want to brag, but they thought I was hilarious. So, I’m bitchin’.

I shouldn’t have worn this outfit, because I look fat not pregnant. Even Jason’s sergeant offered me a hard drink and was surprised when I told him I was expecting. I probably should have mentioned I was Mormon, too, but being pregnant was the first thing that came to mind so I went with it. So, this outfit doesn’t make for a cute belly pic, but at least my face hasn’t ballooned yet.

Enough about me…Sorry. Jason sure looks handsome, right? Doesn’t that plaque really bring out his eyes?

Anyway, joke as I might about having earned the award with him, I really didn’t. There’s no way in hell that I would be able to do the work he does. While I’m at home with a toddler, in a safe house, with no dirty syringes, herpes, or crazy people with guns, he’s out there facing down the worst people in our community and hauling them off the streets. That he does it and loves it is what makes him a man apart from so many others. AND that he does it and has such a good rapport with his coworkers and community really shows what an incredible deputy and man he is. I’m so proud of him and it’s stupid how much I love this guy!

Our Big Little Man

Honestly, having never had kids before, I thought him turning 2 would suddenly turn him into a little monster. Everyone I talked to would end up singing, “Terrible twoooooo-oooos!” I still don’t understand why people do this to mothers. I should do that whenever people talk about surgery or prostate checks. Just sing something dreadful at them so they can feel sick with fear.

But, in reality, he woke up the same bright, exploratory, hilarious little dude he ever was. And I even got a newsletter in my email box telling me that by the age of 2, the terrible twos have passed! So there!

And it was so much fun to be so excited for him when he had no idea that his birthday was any kind of special day. Since Jason had worked pretty much 3 days straight, his sergeant told him to take Thursday off so they wouldn’t have to pay him overtime, and he was all ours on Lucas’s birthday! So we woke him up together, and he was pretty happy to see Daddy there.

Then we went out to breakfast at IHOP. Here he is, waiting for some service.

This photo reminds me of some dumb blonde joke where the blonde got pregnant and asks, “Who’s the mother?” It’s freaky how much he looks like Jason and how very little he looks like me. Sure, I carried him, but it seems Jason’s genes got every last word!

He’s still a mama’s boy, though. Look at all that food! Whatta pig!

We then went to a free car museum in Sylmar. It was kind of a bust. Although there were cool cars everywhere, we weren’t allowed to touch anything and the tours were only once a day for an hour. So we let Lucas run around and LOOK at everything. It was pretty amazing, actually, how big these cars were and yet how they weren’t nearly as powerful as the cars we have today.

In the above photo, you can see a black car behind me that is rather close to the velvet rope. As I passed it, I saw a rubber bulb for the horn and I thought, “What’s this do?” So I reached in a gave it a tiny squeeze, thinking it would hardly make a sound. Instead, it was this blast of AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGHAAAA!!! I almost hit the deck. And then I thought, “I hope they don’t know I did that.” But since we were the only ones in there, I was nailed. And, sure enough, the power-tripping security guard scolded me for touching the cars and said that if we didn’t carry Lucas, too, to keep him from touching anything, then he would have to ask us to leave. Whatta lamo!

This is Jason and Lucas in an old-school RV. Pretty classy, but where do you sleep?

All throughout the museum, Lucas would say, “Wow! Cool car, man!” I finally got it on video. He sounds like Scarface, because he says, “Cool car, mane!” Love it!

We ditched the hoity-toity museum to check out the train outside. We also weren’t allowed to touch this or even go on the platform to get a closer look. So Lucas was getting ticked!

So we left. We went to PetSmart to get some birdfeed so we could feed the ducks at a local strip mall with a man-made pond. Jason looked everywhere for duck feed, but couldn’t find anything specifically for ducks. So he asked the clerk. She said, “We have this,” which was birdfeed for cardinals, blue jays, etc. He said, “We’re feeding the ducks. And this won’t really work because they’re seeds.” She thought it over and said, “We have duck-flavored dog food. I think that would work.” That was one of the darkest things either of us had ever heard.

So we left and bought a box of corn flakes for $2 at Ralph’s next door and drove over to the pond for some fun.

Lucas LOVES this, but mostly because he gets to throw stuff into the water.

Lucas lost interest, so Jason just dumped the box. For some reason, I knew exactly how Jason felt. “Ah, screw it” had come to my mind several times that day. When you try to make something perfect and it’s just kind of okay, you get to the point of dumping out an extra large box of corn flakes and just walking away.

But Lucas was having a blast. And that’s all that mattered!

We opened presents later that night. He’s at the age where he finally understands how to rip packages open. He loved it, and he loved all of the toys. His grandparents got him all the good stuff. We got him some little things, but the grandparents splurged and hooked the kid up.

At one point, he says, “Wow! Look at that!” I was so happy I got it on video! (At about 1:10, he says it quietly.)

Daddy feeding him some brownie with chocolate ganache and peanut butter frosting. Lucas was pretty happy to have a whole piece to himself!

But, man, he was thirsty!

We’re so glad you came to our family, little buddy! We never understood why people liked having kids, and then we had you and are completely addicted to you. You’re so smart and loving and good, and we can’t wait to grow up with you. Love you, dude! Happy birthday!

Obsessed.

So, Lucas is A LOT like Jason and me, who are A LOT like each other in that we hit overload when we are around other people for too long. We all need a decompress time and we usually have a certain activity that helps us do that. For Jason, it’s going running or working out or surfing the net for a few minutes. For me, it’s writing, reading, or watching some dumb show that only I like. And for Lucas, he likes to retreat with his cars.

Here, I threw a birthday party for a friend. About an hour or so in, Lucas had had enough of these pretty little girls tackling him and tickling him, and so he laid down in the middle of the floor to play with his car. Elloise didn’t give a crap. She was all over him anyway and he went right on playing with his car, completely ignoring her.

Here, he stole these cars from a friend’s house. And by “stole,” I mean he threw a massive fit when I took them out of his death grip and my lovely friend insisted I take them with me and bring them back another time. He won this one. Never again!

Waiting for breakfast…

Avoiding trimming the tree….

Avoiding his cousins while using this as a car substitute….

One day, I noticed that he was spending a lot of time in the cupboard while I cooked. So I investigated and saw him driving his cars along the edge of the shelf. I cleared some more room for him to play.

One day, I tossed an empty diaper box on the floor, thinking he would find some use for it. It’s a garage for his cars and trains.

Now it’s a multi-level garage.

Another one of his obsessions is movie time. This kid loves his movies. Usually, he stands right in front of the television. But if it’s been a long day and we’ve been tiring him out with the park and walks and things, he likes to cuddle. So we look forward to movie time just as much.

His favorite toy ever, though, has to be his blanket. We have to be careful when he has it, though, because sometimes he’ll lay on the floor and fall asleep with it. Usually, when he needs some severe alone time, he’ll collapse in a corner with his blanket and just zone out. Being social wears him down. Since he’s so good looking, I have a feeling he’s going to live an exhausting life.

Daddy’s Birthday!…and the day after.

Jason wanted to keep things pretty simple for his birthday. All he wanted to do was go to breakfast at the Way Station and buy some clothes for work. I had no problem accommodating him.

Here are my boys waiting for their food, and Lucas wanting to look like Daddy.

This kid loves pancakes, just like his Daddy. I’m sure he thought it was HIS birthday instead.

The next day, Jason took us to Castaic Lake. I’d never really been there so I was absolutely game. It was a gorgeous day, very warm and breezy, and Lucas loved the water.

Jason taught him to throw rocks. At first, they were little.

Then they got dramatically bigger. Jason was pretty amazed at Lucas’s strength. He could pick up some pretty hefty rocks and throw them a good ways into the lake. That makes me proud!

After throwing rocks and yelling, “Aw yeah!” after big splashes, they tuckered out and sat together on the shore.

But I think he missed me.

And then he wanted Daddy again. This was the perfect way to tire the crap out of him for his nap.

While Daddy went to get the car, we found a playground and Lucas climbed the ladder all by himself.

And, of course, he loved the slide. This kid is unstoppable.

All in all, I’m so blessed to have these men in my life. I love celebrating Jason’s birthday and making him feel loved and special, especially after all he does to take care of me and Lucas. He’s such an incredible man and his success is well earned. And if a snarky toddler can love him this much, it goes to show how loved and safe Lucas feels with his Daddy. I’m a lucky, lucky woman.